“An alive Nightmare”, is a Narrative, I first wrote in Greek, with the title “Σε Απόσταση Αναπνοής” which means “a breath away”. This Novel, it is written in the first singular person. I use to write in the first singular person, because I believe it is easier for the reader to get into the meaning of the case, to feel like he is the protagonist of each story! “An Alive Nightmare” is a Nora’s drama story, who lives in Patras, Greece. She lives an alive nightmare, but, will she manage to end this nightmare? Will she get free? I hope you like it. It is the first time I translate one of my Novels, from Greek to English!
We are into the biggest town of Peloponnesus, Patras! Her name was taken from Patra, an aegis from Sparta.
It is the period of the Pattern Carnival; the biggest carnival event in Greece. I am Nora. I am 14 years old and I live in Patras. It was the first time I went to the Carnival. My family used to leave me at home. These days, my dad, Lukas, was into the town. He used to travel, because of his work! I went to the carnival with him and my mom, Martha. It was the last Sunday, the time King Carnaval was burning, at the port of Patras. People were dancing, laughing, drinking. All Patras’ people had fan during the carnival. All people were wearing masks and carnival costumes.
The sound of music lowered and the announcements for the next carnival began. It was the moment my uncles, Vlasis and Popi, found us where we were. They had come with my cousins, 18-year-old Michael and 10-year-old Mariza. My parents went along with my uncles a little closer to where some of their acquaintances were. This was the first time they had left me and my cousins alone and even among so many people!
Like most teenagers, we found this evening as an opportunity for freedom. It was the first time they had not left us at my uncles’ home, as they used to. Only Michael had his exists, as big as he was. We started drinking various drinks, not counting either the quantity or the combinations we made. Michael, though he should, did not stop me! Mariza, on her own, did not want to drink. She was just dancing all night! But I made this mistake! The first time I drank and I was not just going through the test… I continued to drink, until at some point I did not understand what I was doing!
Oh, I remember how happy I was that night! I loved that they had took me with them and they hadn’t left me at home. I was dancing, I was laughing, I really had a good time! It was the first and last time I felt so beautiful.
I could never imagine how dearly I would pay this drunk!
I woke up today morning, on the bed of a hotel. I don’t even remember which hotel it is! And I am not alone! No, no I am not alone into this room. Once I got to know who slept beside me, I was so terrified that I was thrown out of bed and reached fragments of a second at the other end of the room, grinding! I was shocked!
What did I do? And; with whom did I do it?
I felt so much disgust! I couldn’t control my feelings in the thought of what I might have done with him! As I was overwhelmed by confusion, I was unconsciously found near him. The fact that I was shouting was what woke him up. He caught me by the hand whispering to me “Stop shouting! There was nothing wrong with us, but this will be our secret.”
I felt a tremendous relief when I realized that I had not lost the most precious thing, my virginity! But; how would I go home? What should I say to my parents? I was in despair! I dressed, keeping my gaze away from him. He kept sleeping calm, completely relaxed! How could he? Did we actually do something wrong? Am I exaggerated? I really don’t know!
I left hotel and I took the bus for home. When I arrived, dad had already left for the ship. As a captain he was, he worked almost every day at sea. So, the only person I found at home,was mom! When she heard me, she left what she did and she ran to embrace me.
Martha: My love, where have you been? You were missing all night!
I see how much she has been worried about me! I cannot confirm this concern that something happened to me! All I can do is lie to her. For the first time, to tell her lies! “Mom, calm down! I stayed to a friend of mine from school,that I met in the carnival.” I have no idea, how did I say a word. Although, it seems she believed me. I said her I wanted to go to read and went to my room. Closing the door, I broke into tears.
I remember what happened. He took me from the carnival, claiming I had to lie down, because I had drunk too much. He made me believe he cares about me. We went to the hotel, but I couldn’t get what would happen. I couldn’t control even my eyes to stay open! After entering into the room, he started taking off my clothes, telling me that “We mustn’t go to sleep with our clothes”. I just let him do it. Why? He made me lie on the bed and then started putting his hands on my body. His hands were touching parts of my body that, even me, never touch them! Why did you do this? I was trying to make him leave me, I was telling him to stop! I was very disgusted about him! After that, he got angry and he just left me. He slept next to me, naked. I don’t feel good. No, this isn’t right! I feel my body shaking because of the bad feeling. This feeling, I can’t describe! I have to do something. I have to find a way to forget all of this!
Days pass. He hasn’t been appeared at home. I have my mind at my lessons, trying to forget. And it really helps sometimes! I am on the way to relax.
Ester’s days have already come. These days, everybody is home. I was lucky, because my mom hasn’t gone to work from the carnival until today. She is all day at home and I don’t feel alone. I am not afraid now. From now and on, she has to go to work and my dad is here just for today! And that makes me feel bad! I am not sure I will be okay. I need to feel safe; I need to be sure I won’t ever stay alone with him again…
My mom and my aunt are in the kitchen and they are cooking, while my dad and my uncle are in the garden and they are baking the meat. I am sitting with my cousins in the living room. Mariza is, as always, unspoken. She tends to be low-key. There are sometimes that she seems to wake up from her thoughts; these moments that Michael teases her. But, she never stops having this look that seems to be lost.
I stand up, to go to the toilet. While I washing my hands, I hear the knock on the door. “It’s busy” I said. But the door got open. “Didn’t they hear me?” I thought. “I am inside, wait a minute!” I said. Someone come inside. “I knew you were here. That’s why I came into.” He whispers to me and he comes closer. I am pulling away, but I can’t leave. He holds me by the waistline, while he has got me stuck in the corner of the bathroom. His face is coming closer to my neck. I tell him to let me go, but he doesn’t! I feel my eyes sip! He suddenly leaves, telling that we have a lot of time.
I left bathroom and I returned to the living room. Michael came after a while and he started teasing his sister for one more time, but she didn’t want to. So, he came to me. I was feeling so bad, that I talked to him with rudeness! “Leave me alone, don’t touch me!”
Michael: What did happen to you?
My look made him go. My aunt spoke to us for food, but I didn’t hear her, because I was abstract. I just saw Mariza running close to her, while she was telling that Michael was teasing her. I stayed abstract, immersed in my thoughts. “We have a lot of time” What time do we have? Is he not intended to leave alone? Now that I had managed to relax and feel good after months! What does he want from me?
My aunt’s touch on my shoulder woke me from my thoughts. I came to eat with my family. I look at one after the other; they seem so happy! I had to be happy today, too! It is one of the rarest times my dad is home and I am; so sad! My dad realized I am not feeling good.
Lukas: What’s wrong Nora? We had used to be Mariza to be soaked at the time of eating, did you get it today?
I didn’t get, where they did found the joke! I didn’t find it! Fortunately the hours passed quickly and the evening came. It’s time to sleep. My dad is the first who fell asleep. My mom and I, picked the dishes from the table and then we went to our sleeping rooms.
I lay down to sleep, but I can’t! I feel so tired. I try so much, but I can’t sleep. My thoughts and my feelings have been coming around! There are memories since then, since the carnival. One phrase he told me, made every bad feeling come back! “We have a lot of time”
I am into a box and I am trying to get out of it! I am hitting it with all of my power, but I can’t! I hear steps… I start shouting for help and the steps seem to be closer! “Oh thank God! He opens the box!” I think, but… But it is him! I am going to leave, but he keeps me in the middle telling me that I am not going to go anywhere! He closes the box. I am into darkness again! What’s this? Oh, no! It is water. The box floods! I can’t; I can’t breathe!
My alarm clock rang and I woke up abruptly! It was morning.
I had to dress up quickly! My dad was leaving, I wanted to pretend to say goodbye to him! And I knew that this time wouldn’t be as the previous ones!
This time, my uncle and my cousin would have the responsibility to watch me. My mom had to go to work and I would be alone, so…
My uncle and my cousin were working together, so their daily schedule was similar. My aunt was working at home, so she could be with her daughter all day, except the hours my uncle or my cousin, were at home. These hours she had to go for the errands. They use to be at home at Sundays and some afternoons.
Mariza had nightmares since years ago, so she used to stay awake until late; but that was the reason why she could see her dad and her brother, before falling asleep!
Now, every night, one of them, arranges to come home to check if everything is alright. From the first week, he started coming every night! He always found excuses for my mother for the reason that he was the only one who came every night. But unfortunately, he comes for me!
The last nights, my mom comes back from work so late that she goes to sleep, without seeing him. This is the reason why I am who has to open the door every night!
He came! He knocks the door… my mom sleeps. What can I do now? I don’t want to open! “We are okay! My mom sleeps and I go to sleep too. I have school tomorrow! Goodnight!” I said, without opening the door. “Open the door Nora. Let me come inside, you know I love you!” He said to me, almost whispering. I don’t know what to do. If he tells my mom that I don’t open the door? What will I tell her then? I decided to open the door. He came inside and hugged me, but this hug wasn’t the way we give to a relative! He wants to go in the other room, with me, but I don’t want to! “If you do this one more time, you will have big problem! You don’t want your mom to have one more reason to be sad, do you?” His look at me is so creepy! He makes me scared! I can’t stand even looking at him! I don’t want to see him. Not now, not tomorrow, never! But how? “No, I don’t want this for my mom… but let me go!” I answer to him, while my legs tremble because of my fear! I know he won’t leave me. He’s stuck on me and I feel… I feel his… Oh, what a disgust! He starts kissing me and his hand goes down. It is strange; I have never felt like this! It doesn’t seem to be right. He is going to put off my pants, no! “Let me go, please!” I started crying. He looks me crying and all he has to say is “Stop, stop being so loud!” A noise from my mom’s room made him move away. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” He told me and he left quickly.
Martha: What are you doing? Was anyone here?
Nora (me): They came to check if we are okay.
Martha: Oh, okay. Let’s go to sleep now. You have to go to school tomorrow. Come on.
She went back to her room. She didn’t realize what had happened.
Days pass, weeks pass. He still comes every night! Every night, the same nightmare! An alive nightmare! He squeezes me where he can and places his hands onto parts of my body; making me feel awkward. He doesn’t let me relax at all! He says that if I either say anything, or react and try to stop him, it will be my worst mistake! He insists that he does it for me. I can’t get what’s the good into this! I don’t understand what he means when he says that! What I really know, is that I am not fine! I don’t feel good at all. I feel abhorrence for my body; abhorrence even for me! I can no longer look myself into the mirror! I can’t recognize this girl inside the mirror. She is not me! Every day in school, I feel more away from the other guys, than ever! Especially the boys! I avoid any kind of relationship with the opposite sex. Some days ago, one of my classmates asked me something about an exercise and I spoke to him so badly! I feel really shame about my behavior sometimes! But, I can’t control it. Today is a different day! Today, I will talk to my mother!
It is so easy into the thought! When she came home from work, before he comes, I started a conversation with her.
Nora: Mom, I want to tell you something.
Martha: Is something happening?
Nora: Yes, I don’t know how to tell you about it…
Martha: What’s wrong?
Nora: Mom, since when I came with you at the carnival… the first time… He hasn’t left me to; I mean… I hadn’t slept to my friend that night. I woke up with him, at the same bed and since then, he is still hunting me! He says it is because he cares about me, but I don’t think he means that!
Martha: Who? Who, my love?
Of course! How did I expect to believe me? She said that it couldn’t be true, especially when we talk for this person. She told me to go to my room, claiming that I had lie to her and it wasn’t right to tell so bad lies!
I won’t ever try to tell about it again, to nobody! My mother didn’t believe me, who else would? Nobody! I am alone; really alone! A day later, Mariza came home. She asked me if I was okay, like she knew! I didn’t let her know about me. This was the beginning of my fake happiness! I had to try… at least.
Years pass and this situation keeps getting more serrius. Every time my dad leaves for work, he comes back, supposedly to protect us. I feel I can no more hide it. Every time, he asks for more. Yesterday, when he came, my mom wasn’t at home. It was one of these few nights that my mom was working. It was one of the worst nights into my life! When he knocked the door, I stayed so quiet, that I was sure he would believe that I was sleeping. But he knew I was awake, standing beside the door! He started talking to me, low frequencies. “If you don’t open, you will really regret it!” He said. I opened the door, just because of my fear! My fear… The biggest mistake I ever made and I didn’t stop doing it at one time! With lightning drives led me to the couch. He lied on me and he started kissing me. I was pushing him to make him leave me. “Leave me! I can’t anymore! Let me go!” I shouted again and again. “I want you, I love you! Remember that. You don’t need to be afraid; I just want you to be fine.” He told me. I was so confused! If we didn’t do anything wrong? No, I couldn’t had been so wrong! Yesterday, I felt huge abhorrence about myself! This time, he forced me to touch his body!
My psychological state is not good at all. I feel sad, into wrong moments. It happens without happening something bad these moments. I break into tears, while doing things I love to do! My mom thinks it is because of my teenage! We are fighting all the time. I think she is right, because of my behavior that is very bad lately. But above all, I am afraid. I am afraid of making the others feel bad. I don’t want to hurt anyone! I feel a shiver; I can’t breathe; I need to go out! The same instant I feel angry! I go close to the door; but my mom meets me before open it!
Martha: Nora? Where are you going? It is late.
I cannot stand right because of the trembling on my feet!
Nora: I want to go out, I need some clear air…
Martha: What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?
I didn’t keep calm and I broke into tears! “I can no more, mom; I can’t!” She asked me what I meant, while she was hugging me. I was ready to tell her all. For one more time; to tell her. But, I missed the chance! I saw them coming! My uncle and my cousin were coming. I couldn’t get why they came together; and so early, but that was the reason I didn’t tell her anything!
Nora: I miss dad; I want him to come home!
My uncle saw me and…
Vlasis: What’s wrong with the child Martha?
Michalis: Nora, what do you…
Martha: It’s okay. She misses her dad. Come; sit for coffee.
We went into the living room. “She is stressed because of the PanHellenic exams.” She said. Sometime, I fell asleep in her arms. As I was sleeping, I heard her saying “Excuse me. I am very tired; I need to sleep.” One of them, I didn’t clear who he was, said he would stay, because he was worried about me. When nobody left into the room, except us two, he sat next to me and he started caressing my hair.
I am on a mountain; a very high mountain. I see him standing opposite to me. He is coming closer and I am shouting him to leave, but he doesn’t. I don’t want him to come; I have to do something! He is coming faster. I don’t have a choice; I must fall. And I do it! I fall on the cliff.
I woke up sharply and I saw him here! I thought I had escaped, but no! He is still here; I am still here!
I said crying, while he was making me to lie again on the sofa! That time is the worst of all. Every time is the worst of all the previous! He is holding my hands and kissing in my mouth; like he tries to make him not to shout. I hear his breath in my ear. He tries to put off my trousers. He is so strange! He looks at me, like he has found his life’s dream! I hate this look! I am so scared; what can I do? How may I make him get up from me? He has stuck on me! I… I can’t breathe; I can’t even move my body! If I could shout, what would he do? I wish mom gets up and see him! Oh, no! No, it mustn’t happen; she mustn’t saw this! She will feel terrible. Last days she is not fine, because of dad’s absence. What does he try to do? He tries to unbuckle his trousers. This can’t be happening! I am sure I am the cause! I am the cause of something of all these, but I don’t know… It may be the fact that I don’t stop him in a way. I am so lucky that he didn’t do what I was afraid of!
Next morning my mom came to wake me up. He had left, into the night.
Martha: Come on, get up. You said you wanted to go and learn at which leisure you passed, won’t you?
Nora: I want to sleep mom…
Martha: Okay my love, I will.
When we learned that I hadn’t pass somewhere into Patra, but at Athens; mom got so sad. Although, she told me that it may be better like this, because I would learn how to be independent. But I felt a spontaneous joy! Not so much for the TEI, but for the distance I would get from him. I could be free, after all these years!
This summer, passed so fast! My mind was only at the moment I would leave Patra and him!
Preparations were done quickly and everything was ready for me to go to my new house, near the TEI. Last Sunday before I leave for Athens, dad had come and we were all at home. My mom, the time of the meal, announced that I was leaving for Athens! Everybody, even he, was so happy about it! Is it possible? Someone like him; act like this? How could he pretend he cared about me, when he didn’t? I didn’t stick to it though. All I cared about was that I would leave; and that time came!
Mom came with me, to help me arrange. We paint every wall with colors I love! We put decorative items, carpets, curtains and more, so my house done as I wanted. Serene had invasion me and it was just some hours I had left home! And I knew he hadn’t taken from me something that I couldn’t get back; here, away from him! From the first months, my nightmares had almost gone. It was the first time into the last four years that I didn’t want to leave. I suddenly believe that the good days have already come. I am free now!
My mom, every when she could, she came to see me. My dad also, was coming if he had a stop with the ship at Athens. I could see his eyes full of love, while I knew the reason was that I was happy! He thought that I had made friends and that was why I was so happy. He didn’t know… The truth is that I had made two very good friends; but I didn’t even talk to men.
The first year ended and the summer has come. I am with two girls near the sea and we are drinking coffee. We just did our first bath for this summer. Smile couldn’t leave my face!
But, I have never smile without regret it last years! It couldn’t be more than these months to me happy; and only happy!
I saw him! I am sure I saw him standing at the other side of the road and looking at me! I know it wasn’t my fault. I really saw him! I looked at the girls and then he had disappeared. I found something to tell them and I left for home. I sat down to the sofa, next to the window as I was trying to calm down. But, he was already outside my door!
When I heard the sound of the door, and I didn’t see anyone outside, I thought it was into my mind, or just they left me the bills. I opened the door. I didn’t saw any bills, but only him, pushing me into the house. I couldn’t even shout, because of the shock and the fact that he grabbed me so fast! “I missed you! I want you, now! Know that I got jealous when I learnt it; did you do anything together?” He told me.
It was a night ago. I had gone for a walk and I turned to fall, when he hold me. He was so beautiful and cute. He seemed he was a good person, but I didn’t even know him. We spoke for a while and then he kissed me. Oh, it was so sweet! I couldn’t ever imagine that it would be someone, a man, who could make me feel so nice. He was the first guy I let come close to me. Even for this little time.
“Tell me; did you do something? Did you do it?”
Nora: No, no we didn’t do anything! He just kissed me!
He had stuck his face on mine, while he was so angry with me! I was so scared. I was begging him to let me go, but he didn’t; his eyes testified that he was capable of everything! That was the beginning of another hunt; more powerful and more scary than the previous one! I knew it was a hunt, that the winner would get disappear or the loser would die!
I had to be hosted by my friends every night, taking the risk to understand that something was happening. I could no more do it; they would realize it and then I would be ridiculous! I decided to go back home. I knew that was a wrong choice, but how could I find another place to stay. I didn’t have a job; I had only the money my parents were giving me. So, I went back. There was no night without nightmares. Although, my life was worse than my nights; it was an alive nightmare. He was the monster of my nightmare and there was no way to kill it!
And the nights had been days; I had stopped even lying on my bed to sleep. I couldn’t close my eyes; I knew I’ll saw him up on me, having taken that disgusting look at me! It felt like I was going to be crazy; I had no appetite to do anything anymore. The only thing that I could do right, was studying my lessons! You know why? There was nothing except this that I did just for me! For nobody else!
I am afraid of being a bad person. I think I turn to hurt people and I don’t want this! I have stopped going out and I don’t even talk to my friends like before. It is the only way to be sure I won’t hurt them!
It is the only way, because I have already filled my body with scars. I’m breaking it off, crying cannot help me anymore!
This night, he came so suddenly; so strange. He had made his own key and he came inside. He looked resolved. This time he put me on the bed with my face making me immobilize myself!
That was the strongest hit. That time he took me everything I had kept mine! Leaving, he left me on the bed painful. I don’t know what more intense; physical or mental pain was. The mattress was flooded with blood and I; I was feeling my senses were leaving me!
I managed to stand up and I went to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and went to the bathroom. I opened the bathtub fountain and waited until it was full. I got naked from my blooded clothes and went into the bathtub. I was desperate! I heard his keys on the door. Why did he come back? I didn’t have time. Without any thought or hesitation, I stabbed my hand. But he caught up and walked into the bathroom and once he saw what I had done, he tied my hand tightly with my t-shirt lying on the floor. “Keep alive; don’t leave me!” He said.
He created a false truth. Said they stabbed me as they tried to rob me. Somehow, my parents didn’t learn anything about it! When he turned me back home and lied me on the bed, he told me “I didn’t want to happen this. I love you; I want you so much Nora! I don’t want to lose you! That’s why I do everything I do!”
As the years pass, I managed to get the time to get my degree. I was so good at what I was doing. Nobody had realized that I was not fine. I was never fine! I never stopped being sad because of the fact I didn’t manage even to end my life and let myself free! But, at least, I was good at my lessons! I did something good in the end.
Now, I wait for my parents to come to the awarding degrees and then go and celebrate. Celebrate… Each one could celebrate it, but I was who had more reasons to celebrate this “ending” of my life so far. I had only one way to end my life, even if it wasn’t to die! I will leave for another country and this will be my first day; the first day of my life. I will tell them about it after launch, but they will never find where I will go!
The moment I got into my hands my degree was unique! I felt so beautiful when that warm applause broke out because of that I was graduated with excellent degree!
Launch time came and brought with it the landing of my emotions!
My uncles and my cousins came and I couldn’t say about my plans for leaving the country! He would follow me. Dad and Mom said they would leave at a hotel for the night and next morning I had to be ready to leave for Patra together. We had already found the way I would get my furniture and everything else was mine in the house.
I have only one way; I make my suitcase at night and I leave in the morning. Nobody knows it. I have the ticket. I don’t need anything else to leave.
That’s what I did. I left a note on the table before I leave for the airport, a few hours before the noon. My parents went to my house, but nobody opened the door. I was at the airport, at the same time. Before I pass the road, someone closed my mouth with a wet cloth. I stammered and I felt!
My parents are reading the note.
“Mom and dad, I am sorry about I didn’t talk to you and I just let you this cold and innocent note! I couldn’t say anything yesterday at the launch as I had planned. I found a job in another country and I leave at noon with the airplane. I can’t live here anymore; I am in dangerous! I have already lost several years of my life and I don’t want to lose more. I won’t endure! Since I was fourteen years old I live a nightmare! You never realized what’s wrong; I know that! There’s someone who is being treated me very badly and I have experienced so bad situations because of him! I can’t tell you who he is! All began when I came with you at the carnival for the first time…”
My parents couldn’t realize all of what had happened. My mom started crying!
Martha: It’s my fault!
Lukas: What do you mean?
Martha: When she was fifteen years old, she tried to tell me about this and I; I didn’t believe her Lukas!
My dad grabbed her from her neck!
Lukas: Who is he Martha? Tell me, I’ll kill you!
Martha: Let me; I would never cover my daughter’s rapist!
I just opened my eyes and I feel I can’t move. What’s going on? I… I am knit and naked! How? What happened? I am getting tired; where am I? I am exhausted trying to solve my arms and legs, but I can’t! Nothing works!
It is so quietly here. Nobody would hear me even if I shout as more as I can; nobody is here. It can be one place; our country house! We used to come here when I was a little child.
It gets late. My dad has just arrived at my uncles’ house, looking for him; ready to fight with him! “Where is he?”
My aunt doesn’t know anything…
Michael gets into the room.
Michael: What’s going on?
Lukas: Vlasis! Where is he? Where is this monster!
The 19-year-old, now, Mariza watches from the living room.
Mariza: He is missing since yesterday; he may be at the cottage.
Popi: What does he do there, he…
Lukas: My little girl…
Now, my dad realizes what Mariza has lived until now. He knows now what a bastard is the allegedly serious factory man! Mariza confirms that he is right, by lowering her head.
Popi: What’s wrong? Lukas, tell me!
My mom had gone to the police and had told about everything! She told she didn’t find me at the airport and she couldn’t know even if I left. She told them she hadn’t realized that all of my behavior wasn’t because of the teenage, but because of him. At the end, she told them how they learnt about it; because of my note. “Please, do something! I am sure she would have arrived until now, but her phone doesn’t answer! Please! Help my little girl, please! She is in dangerous!”
I have broken into tears while I can’t understand; why? Why do happen all to me? What have I done? What do I owe to life and I have to live like this? Why can’t even end my life right here? Why?
Steps are heard on the wooden floor. I try to stop breathe to hear; he is coming!
Vlasis: You woke up?
I am scared; I tremble. What will he do? I never expected him to do something so…
I think it’s coming to an end… Here, now it’s the end, I feel it!
Vlasis: Where were you going Nora?
Tears can’t stop run over my face… I can’t… I don’t want… Wish something happen and die now!
He keeps me so tight that I feel my hands will break!
Nora: What more do you want from me? Why don’t you leave me? Let me go; I want to go…
I cry with few now.
My dad drives as fast as he can, to go to the cottage. Night has come. Police goes to the cottage too, but they are far away from my dad. He is closer! He comes faster…
I was waiting for a miracle, just a miracle for me! Somebody to save me, anybody! But there was no one! And he didn’t stop, he didn’t! He knew he has already lost me, but, even at that time, he had no barriers! He didn’t let me die then, in the bathroom. Why? He wanted to kill me on his own; in that way? Pain was so strong! I couldn’t bear it! Blood started comes out of my body and I was so tired, so exhausted. I couldn’t breathe; my eyes were sore! His hands more and more tightened my neck! He had so much hatred.
A stroke made him turn his gaze to the door. My dad was standing there shocked, holding a weapon! But, he didn’t stop! He didn’t put off me his hands. He hold more tightly my neck! I didn’t feel pain anymore; I was watching the blood running on his chest, while my father was coming closer.
When police came was so late! My dad had just killed and he didn’t save me! The last moment of my life, when my eyes were still open, I heard him begging me to keep alive. The same time, policemen were solving my arms and legs. Dad was begging me not to die. My breath was back for a while, but blood couldn’t stop running out of my body. I smiled to him. Unfortunately I was feeling so serene! My body seemed to have less weight. It wasn’t bothering me anymore. That was the moment I was free of that disgusting body! I left my dad. I left my mom. I left everybody, even him! But I found myself and that was the end of my nightmare!